My wife is three months pregnant. Is it okay for us to have sex? I feel embarrassed to ask our family doctor. We are avoiding sexual contact; but I do feel the urge for sex. What do we do?

This is one of the most common questions posed by couples expecting their first child. Their lack of knowledge regarding the correct method, timing and frequency cause varied misconceptions and at times, a total withdrawal from sex. This often backfires, as the woman, owing to her psychological state and emotional needs, fails to understand the behavioural changes in her partner. Here's what to expect.

Emotions on high

During pregnancy, a woman's mental make-up undergoes a dramatic change. She becomes emotional and sometimes oversensitive. The way her needs are acknowledged (or dismissed) affects her mental state and thereby the foetus as well. If she feels that her husband is not adequately responsive, she may get irritable, and suffer from insomnia,loss of appetite or over-stimulated hunger.

Most men are unaware that their behaviour often causes these emotional upheavals. Many take the easy way out and take their wife to the doctor, without realising that she simply needs her husband to understand her moods, feelings and anxieties.

Discrepancy in sex drives

The changes taking place in the mother-to-be are part of her biological make-up. Hormonal and chemical changes prepare her for conception, pregnancy and childbearing. The awareness that she is pregnant creates new aspirations and sexual relations go down the priority ladder. There is, however, no such biological change in the man. He needs to make himself aware of the physical and emotional demands of fatherhood, but continues to feel the urge for intercourse. In such a situation, it is essential that he does not force this one-sided need on his pregnant wife.

For intercourse

Though a woman may not have strong sexual urges, she does need warm and gentle physical contact and caressing. In the process, if she is aroused and willing, they can have intercourse too. However...

- Avoid the missionary (man-superior) position. Woman on top position is advisable, or they both could be in a sitting position, so that there is no pressure on her abdomen and that movement is gentle.

A new survey has found that couples like to romance in the kitchen. According to the poll, 44 percent of people admitted to sharing “intimate moments” with partners in the kitchen, with almost one in 10 saying it happens at least once a week.
And it’s not just newlyweds getting hot and heavy on the stove top, as one third of couples, who have been together 15 years or more, reported they still found time to get amorous while cooking dinner.
The poll of more than 1000 Australians found 53 percent of respondents revealing that the best way to get in the mood for romance is to share a home-cooked meal.
Relationships expert Emma Merkas said that food had been an aphrodisiac for centuries.
“I think shows like MasterChef have increased interest in home cooking and created an expectation among women that men should be able to get involved too, instead of just leaving it to their partner,” News.com.au quoted her as saying.
Ninety percent of The Electrolux Passion For Food Survey respondents said a partner’s ability to cook was important with six out of 10 women wanting a male whiz in the kitchen.
The traditional roast topped the list of favourite meals for romancing, followed by seafood and steak with decadent chocolate pudding the ultimate dessert.

Women play computer games just as much as men, with many saying they enjoy gaming than those who admitted they enjoy sex, according to a new survey. According to the study carried out by Doritos, women spend even more time glued to their screens than their male counterparts. While 50 percent of men readily admit to frequent online gaming, a surprising 49 percent of women confess that they too are addicted to Internet games.
And while men spend 22.3 percent of their time online playing games, women trump them, whiling away 23.2 percent of their time online playing games.

Revealingly, the study showed that not only are women just as keen on gaming as men - but that the majority would rather spend time playing on their gadgets than having sex, reports the Daily Mail.
Worryingly, one in five even admitted to regularly gaming in bed.

The study also found that female gamers would rather play online games than go shopping.

Relationship experts have warned that addiction to gaming could isolate us from our friends and partners, leading to problems.
They said that even if a couple share the passion for gaming, there''s no doubt that with both parties turning their focus to virtual reality, a real-life bond could be harmed.

“I call it being ‘together alone’,” said relationship therapist Douglas Weiss.

“These days, people are on their mobiles at dinner; they spend hours on the computer or watching TV; and they are more connected to their Facebook friends than to the person they promised to love and cherish until death do them part,” he said.

“Technology is interrupting our relationships and allowing us to avoid each other. It has become a way of avoiding real relationships and intimacy,” he added.

Do you think that not having sex with your partner is a sign of a troubled relationship? Well, its not. A new research has indicated that the frequency of cuddling is a far better indicator of the strength of a relationship than having sex.
“Cuddling provides not just sensual pleasure, but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship, all of which are just as important to a relationship as sex,” the Daily Mail quoted Paula Hall, relationship expert for online dating service Parship, as saying.
In fact, maintaining an intimate connection without the wild abandon of the hormonal early days can be vital for a happy relationship.
“The advantage of non-sexual intimacy is that couples often use this time together to talk about their emotional lives,” said Hall.
“Whereas when sex is their only way of getting close, couples who find emotional openness difficult often rely on making love to help them connect. They can find themselves missing out on other levels of intimacy,” added Hall.
If sex is the focus, it can mean that emotional problems are never discussed — whereas non-sexual touching, such as cuddling and stroking, encourages more relaxed bonding and intimate conversation, due in large part to the crucial “cuddle hormone” oxytocin.
“Oxytocin is produced by touch and, as well as making us feel good, it also inspires us to touch more,” said Hall.
“That means that the more you touch, the closer you feel and the more you want to touch,” she added.